Dementia mum and me

Where’s my head at?

August 15th 2017. Forgetting to boil the kettle as I made my coffee with cold water, I shook my head in gentle disbelief at myself. A rude awakening this morning/early hours as I came round from a dream. My heart was beating frantically and not actually feeling right at all. The dream was nice though. I was having some attention from a guy I liked in this dream. How long will this feeling last? Not long I hope. A sense of ‘no time for this’ springs to mind as I remember this time of my life is about Mum.

Stressful times are happening in my house as we get Mums room ready. Previously she came out of hospital after her NSTEMI (A heart attack) and came straight home to ‘stay’ with us. She hasn’t gone home since. Would I want her anywhere else? No, to be honest. The worry would be too much. Already my grey roots are too much to bear. I’m not even 50 years old. Jeez some of my friends of my age are having their babies still while I am asking my 17 year old twins to grow up fast. My son is stressed, my daughter not quite sure how to be with this new version of her precious Nana. The up side? I have my bedroom back after mum took a serious tumble up the cemetery and suffered some terrible but not life altering injuries. They altered life for a short while and Mum moved to the living room for her bedroom which gave me back my amazing bed once again. I love my bed. I LOVE my bed. The duvet, the pillows, oh my the mattress. The TV in the end of the bed…my haven. To be back in my room again changed so much. Having ones own space is far more important than I gave anything credit for. Super important.

For some months now I have been waking between 4am and 5am. This seemed to stop around a month ago as I undertook a lot of travel abroad. Love it. The travel, and the waking later. Yesterday I laid in until like 8am or something, crazy. But this mornings dream had me up just before 4am so here I sit with my microwaved coffee, my candles and my muse. Recording stories of me and mum on this crazy life adventure as we deal with her dementia and grab every minute of life that we possibly can. Between times I shall take photos, write this book and attempt to finish my final year at university. How? I’m not sure…

2 Comments

  1. Yvonne

    Well done Louise what a lovely thing to do. You are my inspiration ! I’ll be with you all the way ❤️❤️❤️

    1. Louise

      YVONNE! You are always so super supportive! I’m glad you are enjoying the writing. Thank you thank you. Please feel free to share 🙂

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