Dementia mum and me

Crowded shops are not for Mum anymore…

Crowded Shops are not for mum!

Christmas is fast approaching.  


Photo with thanks to NUSHERphotography 

The monthly paid workers have been paid and this Saturday promises to be a busy one.

Not thinking, my only thoughts were with my daughter who works for a shop which is famous for being uber busy at Christmas.  I was taking her to work today as I needed to use her car to take me to the shops for collection of a sexy new iPhone 8 plus.  Pink of course.  

My phone has been acting like a spoilt child recently, only doing what it wants and ignoring my commands! Ugh. I love my phone and love the £12 phone contract I have to pay each month.  Ideal.  Nevertheless, with my new found clarity I simply must possess a nice working phone which is amazing for photos and video. As well as writing of course.  

After playing with the idea of getting myself a decent camera for recording video, I decided against that as I always have the phone with me.  I will use the good camera we have in the house for using sit down videos/chatty videos as we call them.

After realising I needed this little drive, a little distance away, I thought mum would jump at the chance of getting out.  So I asked if she would like to come.  Unusually she said no.  She was going to sit and write her Christmas cards.

I was taken aback. I knew there was something deeper and I tried to ask her, yet she was giving not much away. I needed to dig deeper.

“Not like you mum to turn down the offer of an outing.”

“No, it’s alright look I have all these Christmas cards to write.” (It’s November 4th)

“Well you could do them when you want to come back.”

“No it’s alright.”

“Do you feel alright mum?”

“Yeahhhhh fine!” She laughed.

“Well, there is something.  What’s up?”

“Well, it’ll be all busy and that won’t it.”

Ahh, the pieces were coming together in the puzzle.  

After a few more questions, I gathered that mum was nervous about being in crowds.  I was guessing this isn’t likely to be an usual trait of those with dementia.  That said, I simply added.

“Yeah I guess if you get bumped into you’ll end up with more bruises.”

To which she agreed and we left it like that.  I did plead with her to let me know these things as without her saying I won’t know.

Is she changing?

Witnessing a few changes lately I am beginning to wonder if this illness is taking it’s toll on mum.  She got blue the other day.  What can I do to help her more?  

We are planning to secretly bring her sofa over to my house.  The sofa is currently in the garage as we were intending to move it to the new house in Cornwall soon.  Our buyer decided he didn’t want to buy remember?

Frantically, i was emailing the guy in Cornwall asking if he would wait for us, he said yes thank the Lord.  So now i was thinking if we don’t sell quickly enough,  the sofa will be kept in the garage for ages.  Mum kind of really wants the sofa in my house I guess.  It might be a nice surprise for her if we change things around and put one of my sofas in the garage ready for Cornwall.

Not sure about you, but I really like a big, deep sofa which you can really lounge in. Mum and I are polar opposites in so many ways.  Definitely in the sofa department.  Yet bless her she doesn’t complain about having two cushions behind her back every time she sits down or gets up.  Perhaps these little tweaks might cheer her up a little.  

Poor Mum.



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